the first casualty

My left pinky nail. Chewed off in a brief fit of totally avoidable stress this afternoon. Other than that, I’m toeing the line quite well. I know it’s sorta gross and lame, but the nail biting had me worried. It’s been one of my worst habits for as long as I can remember. I was actually doing really well with it up until about four months ago and then… Well, yeah. You know… Shit hit the fan and the stress was more than me or my poor nubbins could handle. Having lumped it in with the drinking/gambling thing though helps – I need it to be all or nothing and I think I felt as bad about that nail today as I would have if I’d done a midday shot of tequila.

Upcoming tests of my resolve re: drinking will be:

– Attending a Blazers’ pre-season game tomorrow night with Caitlin. Oh, ridiculously overpriced Rose Garden beer, I will miss you…

– Casino night at the Greenwood Senior Center in Seattle in a few weeks. Surprisingly, the GSC is a great place to get your drink on. Having partaken in my share of Bingo Karaoke nights, I am qualified to say this. I will have to settle for food and table games that night though. And no, the gambling doesn’t break any rules! The only thing off the table is video lottery – senior center wagering and poker with the pals is still fair game.

**Addendum ~ I was very proud of myself in Safeway tonight. Perhaps counter intuitive, given the healthy nature of the workout, but after Pilates (which I just started up again tonight after a stupid six month hiatus) I always crave a cold beer. I actually had to – out loud – talk myself out of both beer and Diet Coke tonight in the store. Home now with some of Safeway’s finest sugar and caffeine free flavored water to drink. Refreshing… ?

**Final Addendum ~ Good God. The end of the first paragraph implies that I normally do midday shots of tequila. I do not. It is midnight. I have not had caffeine since around 11:00 a.m. I got about 5 or 6 fitful hours of sleep last night (horrible, terrifying dreams) but for some reason am not at all tired yet. Maybe I’m just confusing my body – what with the lack of alcohol, the exercise and the eating well.

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