thisclose to caving

I really want a drink. I mean, I really, really, *really* want a drink right now. I don’t want to get shitfaced, I just want to open a bottle of wine, have a glass or two and let it soften the edges of the day.

It’s been a shitty day. Sad news about family I haven’t seen in years, yet still hold dear in my heart and have fond memories of. I don’t even know how to write about it in a way that won’t be inadequate. Just a lot of stuff storming around in my brain and my heart parts and damn it would be nice to have a glass of wine.

I’m not going to though. Given the hands that others have been dealt, I think I can deal with not drinking tonight.

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