Prompt: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
Oh for Christ’s sake… I’m thisclose to being done with self-reflection. You know what would be awesome? If tomorrow’s prompt was something like, “Cheese. What was your favorite kind of cheese this year?”
I’ll play nice(ish) though and give this an honest go. I actually know exactly what healed me this year, but it’s such a goddamn touchy feely question that I sort of feel like throwing up all the soy ‘nogged coffee I’ve been dutifully chugging for the last hour or so.
Giving up hope healed me this year. Normally, hope is one of my favorite things ever in the history of everything, save this one time. This year, I gave up hope that an untenable situation would ever become anything else, laid down the rope in a spectacularly unfun game of tug-of-war and walked away. It was drip-by-drip and sudden. It crept in and took root over time and then rose up and punched me extra super hard in the gut in one single moment in March. In that instant, the devil I knew stopped being the only thing I saw.
I keep hoping that there’s going to be a prompt that I’ll be able to maneuver in such a way that I can justify writing about music. 2010 was in many ways the year of spectacular music for me and I’m hopeful that there will be a reverb that will give me an excuse to do a big ol’ list of my favorites. However, for whatever reason, there is this one band that was integral to my “healing process” this year – barfy barf barf, that sounds so lame. There was never a time that I listened to Frightened Rabbit this year that didn’t either affirm a great mood I was already in, or turn a shitty one right around. I lovelovelove them and I love the fact that I will always associate them with all the goodness that came after so much bad.
How would I like to be healed in 2011? I will happily and heartily pass on that one. I think we’re all healed up over here.