Of ‘Maids and Marathons

Portrait of a 21st Century Bridesmaid, One Week Before the Main Event:

– Whiten teeth while half-heartedly doing a living room workout.
– Go for a ten mile run (marathon training is really inconsiderate and doesn’t make allowances for weddings, baby nieces or multi-state road trips).
– Practice walking in four-inch heels while watching baseball and eating everything in sight, post-run.
– Consider tottering up the street to the grocery store in aforementioned heels for additional practice and then think better of it.
– Purchase some (possibly ill-advised) self-tanner.
– Come home and apply self-tanner.
– Repeat some version of this for the next week.

The potions and gear

I take this job very seriously.

Unfortunately, as I mentioned above, I also have this marathon thing that six months ago – in a fit of what is seeming more and more to be sheer insanity – I committed to. Today’s run was the longest I’ve done in awhile. It was also really good, which shocks me. I have not been having an easy go of it the last few months. I’ve been hating running, which has made me – to put it laughably mildly – very sad and mad. I thought maybe I was broken. Now, after knocking out ten miles today and feeling pretty good, I’m starting to think it’s been in my head. I’m not totally out of the woods yet; my actual mileage to mileage I should have covered by now ratio is hovering around an abysmal 50%. However, I’ve got Hood to Coast coming up in three weeks, which may provide just the kick in the ass I need to stick with this. There’s miles to go yet, but I feel like I turned a corner today.

Good thing too. No one likes a sour-faced b’maid, and one week from today, the Lord and Lady of Sudafed Heights are going to make it legal. I’ve been to and in many lovely weddings. This one though is something extra special. So I will whiten and fake-tan my heart out for the next several days in preparation. Caitlin – the single most laid-back bride I have ever known – didn’t ask me to slather myself in various creams and gels for a week. I want to polish this business on the outside though so that it gets closer to matching how good and happy my insides are going to feel as I watch two of my favorite people do one of my favorite things – promise to hang out together forever and ever.


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